Greyson Fletcher - Juice Magazine 68

GREYSON FLETCHER

INTERVIEW BY JASON JESSEE
INTRODUCTION BY DAN LEVY
PHOTOS BY DAN LEVY

 

Greyson Fletcher was not just born into the world of skateboarding and surfing, he was conceived in it. To say he rips on a skateboard is an understatement. With raw speed and power, Greyson tears through lines that most would not even attempt. He has this uncanny ability to see right through the bullshit and his passion for skating burns non stop. Most days you will find him working in the family business over at Astrodeck with his father Christian and his grandparents Herbie and Dibi. Greyson is a one of a kinder and he is not in this for the fame or the fortune. He is in this for the love.

“The only weight I lift is when I pick up my skateboard to drop in.”

Greyson, how are you doing? Are you awake?
Yep.

Radical. So you and Christian carpool to work?
Yeah, of course, I don’t have a license yet. I’m slacking on it. I’ve had a permit for a while now, but I never got a license because I’m retarded.

You’re not retarded. You’re not even partial. Did you see Smut Peddler?
Yeah. I watched it a week and a half ago.

Did you ever see it before? It’s all right there at Astrodeck.
I never saw it before. I’ve seen bits and clips of the video before, but I liked the part where the guy shoots his face off. It’s pretty funny.

That’s the best. That was live too, I think. It’s like he’s pulling out a sandwich from a brown bag. It’s insane. The cartoons are pretty good too.
He bleeds so much too.

How old are you?
19.

Where were you born?
I was born in Laguna, on March 8, 1991.

No way. I was born in Newport Beach. You didn’t have a clown at your hospital did you?
Not that I remember. I hate clowns. They’re scary looking. Their faces are insane.

It sucks. So you live at Trestles down there?
No. We live at Cottons.

Is there still a break there?
Yeah.

Radical. Do you surf ever?
I started surfing a bunch this summer and then the water got cold so I had to bitch out on it.

Do you and your dad ever get into arguments?
No, not really.

Do you ever argue with Herbie?
Oh, of course. Everybody argues with Herbie.

Cool it. Really?
Yeah. It’s about just the most random stuff too.

That’s bitchin’. I have work release coming up and I would like to spend a couple days there. You guys could just sign off for me. I’ll sweep. I’ll clean up. I’ll do invoices or data or whatever. I just won’t talk because who is the boss there?
Dibi and Herbie.

You won’t see me. You’ll only see me working. I won’t even fuck around.
You’ll be here, but you won’t be here.

Exactly. I’ll be like a ghost. So you’ve been skateboarding your whole life, right?
I’ve been skateboarding ever since I can remember.

Wow. Same here. That’s crazy. It’s weird how fast time goes. It’s not even worth keeping track of it.
It goes slow and then, all of a sudden, it just starts going into hyper speed.

I don’t think we control it. It’s way different then we think it is, but that’s just when I’m going through acid flashbacks. No. I’ve never taken acid. Okay. Wait. You lived in Bali for how long?
I lived in Bali for seven months and then my dad lived there for a year and three months. It’s the best place ever. You go skate a bunch of rad bowls and then you can go surf.

Wait. There’s concrete?

Yeah. There’s concrete. There are lots of good bowls there. It’s good. You know what’s crazy? Bali has the first all teak bowl. It’s all made out of teak wood.

What? That’s crazy. Teak is expensive. Did you ride it? Was it a good surface?

Yeah. It felt really good. It was really fast and smooth. It didn’t really give me splinters when I fell, so it was good.

I’m so glad we don’t have one here because I would be wet sanding it and shellac-ing it all day. I can’t help it. I would just be fully into making it super smooth and glossy. 

It would be pretty good for everyone else though.

Everyone would be sliding out and the sun would make it peel because I put on too many coats of shellac. Has your dad ever grounded you?

No. My mom tried to a long time ago, but that didn’t work out.

Are you guys in the same place you’ve been in?

No. We moved up one street.

Herbie had to move all the surfboards?

Yeah. They had to move all of their stuff.

That’s a lot of work. I have the same problems, so I understand what it’s like to move all your shit.

Yeah. It sucks.

We’re borderline hoarders but not really because it’s really neat shit.

If everybody else had all the same shit that we had they would keep all of their stuff too.

For sure. It’s insane. Tell me about your family. They’re pretty gnarly, like your grandpa and your uncle and all of them, starting with Walter.

Walter is my great grandpa and Tutu is my great grandma. Dibi is my grandma and Herbie is my grandpa. Christian is my dad and Nathan is my uncle. Joyce is my great aunt, and there’s Uncle Marty. We are all related somehow. I don’t know how. I’m not too deep into math or anything.

That rules. It’s mathematics and DNA probably.

Yeah. It’s some of that random dumb school stuff.

So it’s just your destiny to do frontside ollies overhead. Do you like doing frontside ollies?

I like frontside ollies and frontside smiths.

That’s the best.

What do you like better, frontside ollies or backside ollies?

I never did backside ollies. I think I’ve done them over hips barely. I couldn’t get into them because they just never felt right to me. Christian Hosoi did really great backside ollies. Do you like backside ollies at all?

I do like backside ollies. They’ve been growing on me lately.

They’re fun if you can control them good. I think the only way I could do them is maybe an alley-oop, but I’m almost coming in like a frontside ollie, so it’s like cheating maybe.

You can do a backside ollie and slide in, and if you’re going to hang up, then you just land sideways.

I’ve done that. I was doing them at coping level, so I was pretty safe. I made almost four out of 18. Frontside ollies felt great though. 

They do feel good.

I couldn’t believe every park we went to in Oregon. That was crazy.

Those parks are so rad, huh?

I didn’t even get used to one of them and we were gone. They were so gnarly. I came back here and I tried to skate Buena and I was like, “What the fuck?” It’s the roughest. It’s like going outside to skate the freeway. That’s what it felt like. The parks in Oregon are fucking perfect. It’s weird.

Yeah. That’s what it felt like going back to the San Clemente park too because it has a bunch of weird kinks and stuff that you have to get used to.

Monk and Red know how to do shit perfect.  They’ve got it wired. It seems like California is just a bummer for skateparks compared to Oregon and Washington.

I heard they have a height limitation here.

What about Razors? Do you have to do battle?

Razors are gay.

They are the gayest. They all put the rollerblades away and got Razors. It’s insane.

There really are pro Razorers at the San Clemente Park.

That’s the corniest thing I’ve ever heard. So you have a skatepark with pro Razor locals? 

There’s a pack of 20 scooterers that come to my park all the time. They trade scooter parts out for other scooter parts and they wear gay purple colors and match their shoelaces to their Razors and helmets. It’s gay.

Are they all under age six to eight or something?

No. The age range is like four to 30 on Razors.

That’s embarrassing. It’s okay though. One day someone will show them pictures of themselves from way back when and they will realize that they should have committed suicide. Sad. Or maybe they will run for fucking mayor. 

Hopefully not.

Do you and your dad have an office together?

Yeah.

How cool. Who are your sponsors? I’m curious.

I get flowed by AntiHero, Spitfire, Independent, Vans, Skull Candy, Stance Socks and Team Astrodeck for skating. Hopefully, I didn’t leave anyone out.

That rules. Okay. The reason I’m stressed right now is because I walked out to the cliff and looked down to where I buried that dolphin, and someone dug it up. I was so pissed. I was ready to reassemble it on up here with stainless steel and make it all scientific with its Latin name and everything, but it’s not there anymore.

That sucks. Somebody left a dead deer on our dumpster    outside of work. It had its head chopped off.

What the fuck? Maybe Cal Trans dumped it there. Where’s the head though? That’s gross. Sacrifice.

I have no idea where the head went. Somebody probably mounted it on a wall or something. That’s gnarly shit.

That’s gross. I saw a deer on the side of the freeway. A guy hit it, so I got off at the exit and went and got a hacksaw at Ace Hardware. I got back on the freeway and then pulled over in front of the deer and hacksawed its horns off. People were honking at me. It was funny. I still have the horns. His tongue was out and it was looking at me. 

No one stopped?

It was creepy. They were honking like, “What are you doing psycho?” Have you thrown your axe?

There’s nowhere really to throw it, but I threw it and smashed a couple of skateboards with it.

What about your Grandpa Walter? Have you ever seen his collection of neat guns or knives?

Oh, yeah. I’ve seen his knife collections. They are crazy. He has so many of them.

It’s pretty bitchin’. Did you go to high school?

I didn’t go to high school. I did home schooling, so I never really went to school. School sucks.

Completely. I went to San Clemente High for two weeks and then wrote notes and quit. Are you left handed or right handed?

Right handed.

If you’re left-handed they used to be like, “Use your right hand.” It was corny. If you’re left handed, you’re left handed. Fuck it. You’re regular foot? I’m regular foot.

You’re regular foot and left handed? Oh, you’re all mixed up.

Wait a minute. Maybe that’s why it was easier for me to go backwards, maybe not though. 

Do you play pool with your left hand?

I shoot right handed.

I shoot left handed. I hold my skateboard in my front hand so that’s the hand I hold the pool stick with too. It’s weird.

Crazy. It’s a right-handed world. If you hold a Bic pen in your right hand, you can read it, but if you put it in your left hand, it’s upside down. So what park did you grow up skating at the most?

It was probably the Vans Skatepark in Orange and the San Clemente Park.

Did you skate the Combi pool there?

I didn’t really skate it when I was little, but I started skating it about a year ago. It’s a sick bowl. It’s easy because it’s concrete and now it’s all smooth. It’s not really slippery    anymore, so no one’s really scared of it anymore.

So they just changed the whole thing, right?

They changed the roll in, but the Combi bowl stayed the same shape. They took out the channel and made it regular, and the coping is epoxy coping now.

Do you like it or not?

No. I don’t. It’s fake coping. It’s plastic. You might as well be riding plastic trucks or something. It’s weird. What parks did you start skating when you were younger?

It was Big O and Del Mar. Big O was super good.

Is that where you perfected your frontside ollie?

No. That was at some ramp in Dana Point. Where did you learn frontside ollies?

I have no idea. I just did them. I learned them from doing them and watching them on videos I guess.

Have you ever noticed the difference between surfers that don’t skateboard and surfers that do skateboard?

Surfers have a weird skate style. I always thought it was funny, but John John, Nathan and Ivan [Florence] all skate good. They have good skate style.

Some surfers do double-handed grabs and stuff and it’s just weird.

They get the weird wrists when they skate and they hang up a lot too. Nobody likes to hang up.

So can you do frontside ollies surfing?

Not really. Can you do ollies on a surfboard?

Barely. Once. It was a long time ago.

I can do them randomly.

I’m not like your dad or Nathan. That’s insane. I can’t even understand it at all. It’s just ridiculous.

Yeah. They are ridiculous.

Have you ever wanted to learn how to noseride or do the side slip boogie?

I have. I actually went longboarding for the first time last summer. I started surfing everyday and I went longboarding. It’s a lot harder than it looks. That’s for sure.

The way your dad and grandpa do it is insane. They were hauling ass at Pipeline and Backdoor.

I heard you were responsible for the stalefish on a surfboard.

No. I just watched Christian do it at Log Cabins.

My dad said that you were responsible for the stalefish on a surfboard though.

No way. Your dad just wanted to do it. It seemed like it took an hour and a half to walk down there, but it was probably only 10 minutes and then he did it on exposed boulders. It was gnarly. I just wandered off after that. It was nuts. Has your dad done kickflips on a surfboard and pulled them?

I’ll ask him… He says he’s done kickflips on skateboards and surfboards. Oh, he said he wears tight pants too.

Oh, he does?

No, he doesn’t. I think kickflips look cool on tranny though, like kickflips and frontside flips on a ramp.

What kind of trucks do you ride again? I forgot.

Independent. I have a question for you. Do you think of skateboarding as an art or a sport?

I think it’s art. What do you think?

I don’t really have an opinion on that. I’m kind of confused.

Okay. We’ll wait. Go ahead and think about it.

It’s both. It’s kind of art. I’m not really into art, so I’m going to have to say it’s a sport.

So are you looking forward to entering the Extreme Games? Are you good under pressure?

Hell, no. I’m not good under pressure in skateboarding. I don’t do contests or anything because I’m horrible at being under pressure. I don’t even like to skate when there are too many people watching.

It just gets harder as you get older. I heard about that contest you just did. J.J. Rogers said you should have won, but some other kid won.

Oh, yeah. I got second at West Linn.

J.J. says you should have won.

Competition is a weird world. Hey, we have a crazy video to send you. This guy jumps off a bridge and he has to clear a concrete path across the water and he lands on his face on the concrete. He pops up out of the water like 20 seconds later. His friend gets him and it shows him at the hospital with his face all split open sideways just laying flat like a piece of paper and then you can see his teeth and stuff and hear him breathing. It’s fucked.

That’s like Duane’s leg in a bag. That was gnarly. Do you remember when he was going to lose his foot no matter what and he had to sign something just in case they took his leg off up to his knee. Someone had to have pulled the doctor aside like, “This is Duane Peters. If you take his foot off, you might as well kill him, because that’s insane. He needs to dance and sing and skateboard, so save his foot.” And they fucking saved it. He woke up with a foot and he thought he was going to wake up without a foot. How crazy is that?

That would be shocking if you think you’re going to wake up without your foot and then you wake up and see it.

I couldn’t even imagine it. He doesn’t even have a limp, right? He wasn’t even limping.

No, he wasn’t.

Have you gone on a lot of trips with him?

I’ve been going on a bunch of trips with him and Jamie Prescott. We’ve been doing the Skull Candy stuff for a while now. We go up to Oregon twice a year. It’s pretty sick.

We just went to rad parks in Oregon. I don’t know how many skateparks they have up there, but I swear there is one in every town.

There has to be. That’s what it seems like. It’s so great. You didn’t even see Lincoln City, did you?

No. I’ve never been there. I have to go there soon.

Lincoln City is so good. It has a crazy snake run in it. The snake run leads into a 14-foot half bowl. It’s pretty crazy.

Have you ever seen your dad do a wheelie skateboarding?

Yep.

Can you nose wheelie a long time?

I can nose manual kind of a long time.

You guys have to go for Guinness Book of World Records because it would be funny. You could be snacking on hot dogs or sandwiches and then Christian can be smoking. He could be doing a manual and smoking and handing you a sandwich for a mile and a half. You could both get in the Guinness Book Of World Records.

I’ve seen him manual uphill and then across a bunch of streets and then downhill and then up another hill. I don’t know how he can go up a hill.

He can do probably 50 to 100 city blocks, right?

Easily. My leg would be fucking dead after that.

Did you know that your grandpa skated the first pool ever?

That’s what I’ve heard.

How crazy is that? Skateboarding is not very old.

Yeah. What was the first pool you skated?

My first pool could have been Pomona or San Clemente. Have you skated backyard pools a lot?

I’ve skated a bunch of random ones. They’re fun to skate.

Do you ever get really angry and break shit?

When I was little, I used to break my skateboard a bunch when I got angry. I learned how to control it now. Now I smash the coping with my trucks instead or I’ll do an air and smash my feet down when I land on the tranny.

Ollie to tails are nice. 

They feel good. Have you ever done an ollie nose to fakie?

I’ve done it to my front truck, like a frontside ollie 180. Chris Miller would do the back truck and grind it. I’d do a frontside 180, land on the front truck and come in to fakie. I guess it’s an ollie 360, but you hit your front truck on the way in.

It’s like a 270 nose pivot to fakie, huh?

Yeah. I don’t even know how to talk anymore either. It’s sad.

It’s all good. My vocabulary is really small, so I’m on the same level with that one.

Okay. Do you have any tattoos?

No. Not yet.

Wait. You’re stoked if you don’t have any.

I know. There are too many idiots that have them already.

Completely. What do you think?

I try not to think too much.

Well, you’re smart. It’s so much easier not to think. There are people that think so much they can’t even function. They can’t even sleep and stuff. Do you go to bed pretty early?

If 1AM or 2AM is early, then yeah, I go to bed early.

Is it hard for you to wake up in the morning?

I usually wake up around 9:30AM. It’s kind of hard to wake up though because I’m grumpy when I get up, and sore. Are you a morning person?

I think so. I can just wake up whenever and I’m pretty much ready to go. I’m a light sleeper. If there is pressure to be somewhere like a court date or a meeting it’s almost impossible. I’m like, “Oh, really? I can’t work.”

So you can just wake up at 5:30 in the morning and go skate?

Yeah. If I think about exactly what time I have to wake up, I’ll wake up without an alarm clock. It’s kind of weird. My dad was the same way.

That’s a pretty good thing to have. I wish I had that.

What about Kelly Slater? He just won for the tenth time, huh?

I heard something like that. That’s ridiculous, right?

Yep. Wait. Okay. I don’t think Razorers is a word. 

I don’t think it’s a word either. Where did you get the resources?

These are all just off the top of my head. 

Interesting. I just know I don’t like scooterers.

That’s perfect. It’s so weird. They had to invent something because they never let disco die, so they had to invent Razors or diapers or whatever.

Scooterers are people who can’t skate. If they can’t skate, they go to biking. If they can’t bike, they go to rollerblading. If they can’t rollerblade, they go to scooters.

Totally. If they can’t deal with stuff on their own, they go to the cops. It’s just ridiculous. Are there any long-term goals you have?

I want to get Astrodeck up and running with my family. I don’t know if it is a long-term goal, but it’s a goal.

Wait. Billabong doesn’t own Astrodeck? 

No.

Basically, Astrodeck is the only company that’s not owned by a mega corp?

That sounds about right.

That rips.

Do you have a motto, Jason?

It would probably be a Chevy Biscayne. No. I’m just kidding. It’s motto, not moto. I’m retarded.

Most people are retarded. They just don’t know it. So you have no mottos? I’m sure you’ve had them before. Come on.

“Die when you die when you die you’re gonna die.” That’s from Kevin Michael Allin. My other motto is “Shit right out of a dog’s ass. Dog shit.” I’ve been trying to be more positive. “Don’t leave the mayonnaise out too long or it will turn beige.”

I thought there was nothing worse than mayonnaise, but I’m sure beige mayonnaise is even worse. Are you secretly     trying to say you like rotten mayonnaise?

No. I like reggae. I don’t mind reggae.

Oh, you like reggae mayonnaise? Wait. I’ve got a random question for you. How would you define soul?

I probably wouldn’t. I would just think of food, like soul food. It’s probably good. I never watched Soul Train, so that’s a weird one. I don’t know how I would define it. I would probably just be really quiet and let somebody next to me define it. I would pretend I didn’t hear the question.

Okay. We’ll move on to a different question. You have to fill in the blank. The easiest way to piss me off is_______.

Shit the bed.

That’s a good one. I have another fill-in-the-blank for you. What do you do to piss people off?

Where was the blank?

It’s at the very end. What I do to piss people off is _____.

Wait. Okay. Is it a question or a fill-in-the-blank?

What do you do to piss people off, Jason?

What do I do?

I know you can probably get on people’s nerves somehow. Your communication skills are stellar.

My communication skills are terrible. I’ve been working on them, but they are terrible.

You’re communicating though.

Thanks. I’m working on it, but it’s definitely a challenge. There are so many ways to               communicate and I try to not use any of them. If I see you in person, I’m all for it. It’s all of the      different forms of communicating I have a hard time with.

It’s hard. You send people a message and then they’ll send you one back and you just forget about it.

Someone will send me a text message on my phone, and I don’t see my phone for a few days. Then I see the message and I have to digest it for a few days and then I’ll be able to handle it. If it’s a yes or no question, it could take two days. If it’s more than that, it could be two weeks.

Oh, that’s useful information. Is that why you haven’t been getting back to me as soon as I would like?

Wait. I’ve never gotten a message from you. Have you ever called my phone?

No, but maybe I will in the future.

Knowing what you know now, you’ll go easier on me?

Yep. This interview has really helped. Now I know it’s going to take a couple days to get the answer to the question I asked you.

I have to digest it all. The lamest part is that it’s much easier to just drive here if you really want to get a hold of me. Just drive here and it’s done.

I’ll send my message boy over there.

Well, whoever you’re going to send is going to be here for a little while because they are going to have to look for me around here and then I’ll sidetrack them with, “Hey, wait. Help me pet this petting zoo. Help me corral these goats.”

It’s nice though because these message guys are cyber stalkers, so they can find you really fast. I don’t know how they are working with goats.

That sucks. Do you have any brothers or sisters?

No. Not that I know of.

The first time I met you was at my wedding a long time ago. You were like one day old.

Oh. You can bring one-day-olds to a wedding?

You were just an infant child. It was crazy. You skateboard every day, right?

Yeah.

That rips. Have you broken anything?

Not really. I’ve gotten pretty lucky. I snapped my thumb in half and stretched out the tendons in my arm. My friend had a launch ramp by his house and there was a big bush. He kept telling me to do an airwalk and I was like, “No. Airwalks are gay. I don’t like airwalks.” He was like, “Do an airwalk.” I did a couple tricks and then I was like, “Okay. I’ll do one airwalk for you.” So I went up and did an airwalk about shoulder high. My feet were probably up to my shoulder and my foot got stuck in the bush and I fell on my hand.

Wait. You got caught in her bush.

Well, no, not her bush, a bush.

Then what happened?

I fell straight onto my thumb and left hand. I was holding my skateboard with my broken hand and then I started walking and it felt really weird. I looked at it and I was like, “What the fuck?” I just kept saying, “What the fuck? What the fuck?” I was like a broken record. My thumb was pointing down at the ground and some chick screamed. It was funny.

Have you ever gotten any tickets skateboarding?

I just got a ticket for $260 at the San Clemente Park for no helmet.

What the fuck?

I put on my helmet when I saw him coming, and I was like, “What’s the problem?” He was like, “Oh, I saw you. I was spying on you from my secret spot with my binoculars.”

He did not say that.

Yes, he did.

What really was going on was that he was jacking off in his car.

That’s what I was going to say. He was beating off around the bush up in the hills.

That’s usually what they do, I guess. A lot of times they just hide in their cars and jack off. So you had to pay $260 for him to see you. Fuck that guy and his job.

Yeah. It’s retarded. I ran all the way to the golf course and hid in the golf course.

What a fucking creep to be hiding in his car   looking at young boys, and he has a gun too, so that’s great. You have to take care of that ticket though because you don’t want it to escalate into anything else.

I already paid for it. My grandma paid for it, actually.

It’s a good thing to fight every ticket you ever get. You might as well give it a shot. It ties up the courts and it’s great. There’s so much unfair shit. 

Yeah. It’s bullshit that you can’t skate without a helmet.

That’s corny. So do you live by that guy Ryan that lives in San Clemente? Do you ever see him around?

Ryan Sheckler? I skated with him a couple of times at the San Clemente Skatepark.

I walked through some room this morning and the TV was on and it was Saving Little Ryan or     whatever. I looked. This guy is skateboarding. Whoa. That guy is good. Oh, no. He’s talking now. Wait. I was just in awe. He’s as smart as a bologna sandwich. So how are you doing?

I’m doing all right. I’m just getting ready to go skate the Combi bowl.

No way. I got kicked out of there.

You did?

No, but it sounded cool, right?

Yeah, until you said you didn’t, and then it sounded lame.

There are so many places to skate in Oregon. I can’t even take it. I never wanted to leave. I never want to grow up.

You never want to leave to go to the next skatepark in Oregon because you never get to get used to any of them?

I never want to take anything to the next level. 

You don’t need to. You already did.

How do you stall in mid-air when you do frontside airs?

It just kind of happens.

It’s pretty crazy. It’s like you can stop time.

If I could stop time, that would be pretty cool.

Have you been taking photos and stuff?

My grandpa took some photos of me last night at the Bible Bowl. He took some of my dad and I skating. My dad has some good smiths in the deep end at the Bible Bowl. He did a layback smith in the deep end too.

Rad. What about Herbie? Did he skateboard too?

Yep. He rolled around. It was fun.

Did you ever go on trips with Jamie Prescott’s kids when they were on tour with the band?

I’ve been on a couple of those trips with the band. We just cruised from Southern California up to Oregon. The next trip they had was a pretty long one. It was California to Oregon to Washington and then Florida. It was a bunch of places.

Have you ever been on any trips with Grosso?

Nope.

Did you know he rides for Anti-Hero now?

I heard that. He’s great. How were your trips with him?

They were great. He’s hilarious. I’m trying to cut words out of my vocabulary like BMX, dude and radical.

You can keep radical in there.

Radical works. There’s an ad with Jay Adams and it said, “always radical.” That legitimizes it.

That’s funny. Righteously radical. Radically righteous.

Now you’re getting into the ‘70s beach vibe. When I think of your grandpa I think “always radical.” Let’s move on to your fucking ecological footprint? How are you reducing that in your life?

Well, first of all, I don’t know what the fuck an ecological footprint is, so you’re going to have to explain it for me first.

Well, British Petroleum released a lot of dinosaur bones and oil in the Gulf of Mexico. It was a full disaster, so there is nothing that you or I could do that could even amount to one hour of their destruction, so who cares? Do whatever. Who cares? Die when you die when you die you’re gonna die.

Isn’t there a GG Allin song like that?

What’s your favorite band or what have you been listening to lately?

Dubstep. The best part is they don’t have singers.

Does your dad listen to it?

No. He hates it. He fucking hates it, which is even better.

If your dad liked it, you’d have to re-evaluate everything.

Yeah. That’s funny.

Do you ever get really sick of Southern California’s mentality?

Yeah. I don’t really hang out with anybody here. I just hang out with my family. I have a couple good friends that I hang out with, so I don’t have to deal with a bunch of retards around Orange County.

That’s cool. What was your first memory of     seeing Cardiel on video or live or anything?

That was at my Uncle Nathan’s house when I was like 14. Right when I saw him he became my favorite skater.

What about that thing that Jamie took you guys on 10 years ago? Everyone was little kids, and everyone is good at skateboarding.

That was the Next Invasion tour. Everyone was like 11.

That’s crazy. There’s only one guy that just        disappeared. Everyone else is really good.

Which one disappeared?

I don’t know. I can’t remember his name.

How are you supposed to do an interview if you can’t remember any names? C’mon.

I lost my notes. I don’t know where I left them. 

Oh, that sucks. I’m sorry.

It’s hard to get really super into animals that  people eat for lunch, like Chicken Mcnuggets.

Dirt Nasty can get into animals pretty easily. Have you heard some of his songs?

Yeah. I like Andre Legacy. He rules. Dirt Nasty reminds me of this kid from junior high, so it kind of fucked me up. I can’t stand him.

Thank God I didn’t go to junior high.

Has anyone ever blown up at you there at work or burst into tears in front of you?

I’ve seen tears, but I don’t get involved with that. I don’t have to tell you about grown men crying. It’s a sad touchy subject.

If it’s not raining or I’m not in the shower, you are not going to ever see me cry.

Oh, all right. Is that your disguise?

Well, it rains a lot up here, so it’s kind of cool, and I definitely take the right amount of   showers.

Do you shed some tears in every shower?

No. I’m just saying that if it’s raining that’s the time to go ahead and burst into tears.

That’s some valuable information. I’m going to take that along with me.

If anyone sees you they may say, “Oh shit. It’s raining.” If they look at you too long, and they’re like, “Are you crying?” You can slap their face because they got that close and asked you that way. You say, “Of course it’s raining, asshole!” Then you slap them.

That’s pretty funny.

Okay. Do you have to pay the screen actors guild?

I used to.

Why did you quit paying it?

I don’t really know what happened.

Was it a good experience at all because you were on TV for a while, right?

I guess it was a good experience. It’s a lot harder than it looks, that’s for sure.

Once you get to that point, you kind of wonder if you really wanted to get there.

That’s why I quit. It’s really weird. Everybody in that whole scene is fake.

For losing hope in humanity, that’s definitely a good route.

Definitely. You can learn to be two-faced or three-faced or four-faced, and then you don’t even have a face. No face.

Ass face. I want to shave all my animals’ asses. I’m going to shave them and get faces tattooed on them and make them walk backwards.

That’s kind of fucked up. That sounds like a big personal problem you have if you want to shave your turkeys and     tattoo a face on them.

Well, not the turkeys, just the chickens. I’ve been battling partial retardation, so you have to go easy on me.

Sometimes I wonder if I have full retardation. My dad just said that he knows that I do.

He’s not supposed to tell you that until you’re 30.

It’s already over then because everyone already told me. Do you have a stand up skateboard, like a SUP or SUK?

What’s that?

You don’t know about stand up paddleboards? Buttons has a model. He does stand up paddling on a skateboard. It’s a new sport. Stand up skateboarding. Everybody is into it.

Isn’t that how you always do it? I remember the last time I skated, I was standing up.

I’d rather stand up skateboard then lay down skateboard.

Your clothing would get caught in the wheels. What a nightmare.

Your hair would get dragged into your bearings and you’d face plant into the wall.

I do stand up eating and stuff like that, but…

Well, that’s a pretty extreme sport, or so I’ve heard. I haven’t tried it yet.

I had no idea it was a sport. It’s just what I do. Do you ever lift weights?

No. The only weight I lift is when I pick up my skateboard to drop in.

That’s great. Let’s wrap this up. Tell your      family I said goodbye. Hug each and every one of them and tell them I’ll call them in fifteen minutes.

Yeah. I can’t do that. No. Jason says bye to everybody. They all said, “Later, Jason.”

Rad. Nice. Bye everybody.

Bye.

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