5th Annual Gwar-B-Q
Horror business is about to pick up! The MISFITS have been revealed as the special secret guest for the 5th Annual GWAR B-Q! GWAR’s festival of meat, music and mayhem will take place on Saturday August 16th at Hadad’s Lake (7900 Osborne Turnpike, Richmond, VA 23231). Led by famous monster Jerry Only, the MISFITS have been carving their own bloody path through punk and metal since 1977.
Jerry Only joins an impressive roster of talent participating in the VIP Celebrity Meet & Meat. These include Jackass/Viva La Bam star Bam Margera, LA Ink’s Amy Nicoletto, Body Count’s Ice-T, Hatebreed featuring Jamey Jasta, punk rock legend Tesco Vee of the Meatmen and of course all of GWAR – including returning Scumdogs Slymenstra Hymen, Sleazy P. Martini and Sexecutioner! Holders of VIP tickets – which sold out at warp speed – are good to go for this exclusive event. Everyone else is a sad slave.
GWAR demands that all attend the Dave Brockie Memorial one day before the GWAR B-Q. Fans, friends and possibly protesters from the Westboro Baptist Church will gather from 4:00pm to 7:00pm on Friday, August 15 at Hadad’s Lake. We can now announce that Jello Biafra – punk icon, Dead Kennedys front man and actor in GWAR’s long-form video Skulhedface – will serve as the memorial’s master of ceremonies. Tribute will be paid to both Brockie and Oderus Urungus, as the Scumdog soldier will receive a Viking funeral set ablaze upon the SS Boat. Show up and bid Oderus farewell as he travels to Valhalla and beyond!
The 5th Annual GWAR B-Q opens the floodgates at 10:00am, and the first bands will rage on the GWAR B-Q’s two stages starting at 10:35am. The first 100 people to arrive will get in first. Get there early, because each explosive act has been handpicked as an awesome complement to molten sun and meat sandwiches! GWAR cares not that you missed the act you wanted to see. So, start your next binge at 10:00am, in true Bohab fashion.
BUT WAIT! Before you meet your untimely demise at the cannibalistic bloody orgy of this year’s GWAR B-Q, your secured entry depends on these items.
NO PETS! (Don’t leave your pet in the car, asshole!)
BACKPACKS AND COOLERS WILL BE CHECKED BY SECURITY!
PARKING IS LIMITED!
CARPOOL, SKATEBOARD, BIKE, BUS OR PARACHUTE!
SINGLE-OCCUPANT CARS WILL BE TURNED AWAY AT THE GATE!
Buses will be shuttling attendees to/from the VCU campus, downtown Richmond, airport hotels and annex parking lots. And speaking of lodging, rooms are still available at one of the five special-discount hotels. All this information and more can be found at http://gwarbq.com/crashing-out.
The Spew-O-Lympics is currently taking applications for potential contestants, because everyone likes to laugh at idiots sacrificing their health and dignity for fame and fortune. Can you topple reigning champion “Gold Member?” It’s going to be hard. Find out how to enter, as well info on other GWAR B-Q events, at gwarbq.com/events-2.
GWAR B-Q Skate Park & Bike Jumps
Another spectacle returning to the GWAR B-Q is the skate park. Some will be brave enough to tackle the Rolling Wheels of Death, and some may live to tell the tale. Even you posers will be able to purchase a limited edition 5th Annual GWAR B-Q skateboard. Smack it on your skull and make up a story about how you ate it trying an ollie 360 heel flip.
Plenty of the new GWAR Beer, Killsner, will be on hand at the GWAR B-Q; but you don’t have to wait until then to pour some down your gullet. Brown Distributing expects to have it stocked in area stores and bars by early August. Proactive bohabs can order it online from Lueken’s Liquors at luekensliquors.com/beer/cigar-city-gwar-4pk-12oz. And finally, GWAR Beer brewer Cigar City Brewing is organizing a special Killsner tasting at their Tampa Florida stronghold. Tampa: It’s not just for strippers anymore! Check www.cigarcitybrewing.com for more information on the GWAR beer tasting event from Cigar City.
To ensure GWAR has all vices covered, the premium handmade CiGWAR is almost ready to be held in your sweaty, hairy palm. They’re being produced by the world-famous Tajuaje Cigars and its owner Pete Johnson – a company known for handmade, premium Nicaraguan tobacco cigars. Get them at the GWAR B-Q or at Richmond-area Havana Connections locations (11616 Broad Street and 8801-E Three Chopt Road in RVA; 11645 Midlothian Turnpike and 6181 Harbourside Center Loop in Midlothian; and 4920 Courthouse Street in Williamsburg).
JiZMak was blown away by the CiGWAR, saying, “It’s the second best thing I’ve ever had in my mouth!”
Don’t forget the bloody bookends to the insanity: the B4BQ and the GWafter Party! The B4BQ has a quartet of killer bands, including headliner The Black Dahlia Murder. Don’t miss the action Friday, August 15th at 7:00pm at The Broadberry (2729 W. Broad Street, Richmond VA 23220). Get your tickets atthebroadberry.com/. VIP Premium Ticket holders get in FREE. Don’t forget to bring your printed e-ticket to the door for FREE admittance or else pony up your burger flippin’ bucks for entry.
The GWafter Party is a good goal to shoot for. How many limbs will you have left after your day at Hadad’s Lake? Enough to drag yourself to Bandito’s Burrito Lounge (2905 Patterson Avenue, Richmond, VA 23221) directly after the GWAR B-Q on the night of Saturday, August 16th? That remains to be seen. But if you do, you’ll get to eat tacos and hear music by Mudd Helmut, Polkadot Cadaver and Creep-A-Zoids.
Of course, none of the majesty and depravity of this year’s GBQ would be possible without our key sponsors: Ring Dog Rescue, Mt. Baker Vapor, Cigar City Brewing, Brown Distributing, Monster Energy Drink, Genesee Cream Ale, Blakhart Guitars Guitar Center and Metal Insider.
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